“Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.”
In a Laundromat: “Automatic Washing Machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.”
In an office: “Would the person who took the stepladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken?”
In an office: “After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.”
Outside a second-hand shop: “We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?”
Notice in health food shop window: “Closed due to illness”
Spotted in a safari park: “Elephants, please stay in your car.”
Seen during a conference: “For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor.”
Notice in a farmer’s field: “The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.”
Message on a leaflet: “If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.”
On a repair shop
door: “We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door – the bell
doesn’t work.)”
